Though I'm thoroughly enjoying life in Brooklyn, the one thing I miss is having a gym across the street. I spent a good deal of time researching Brooklyn gyms and either they were too far away (I hate getting exercise on my way to exercise) or they were downright creepy. Ultimately, I settled on New York Sports Club because the price was right and I was out of options.
However, as an alternative to the hustle and bustle of this very new york gym, I bought a tao bo dvd. It was a bit embarrassing to purchase but since I bought it while also buying birthday cards, I was pretty sure the dude at the register didn't know it was for me.
So, I've really been enjoying pushing the coffee table out of the way and punching it out while Billy Banks yells at me about my fat lazy ass. I did, however, notice that my jogging in place and step touches were a bit loud against the wood floor and was crossing my fingers that the neighbors below wouldn't notice. This was wishful thinking seeing as I have always been known as a very loud walker. I thump around, I know. In fact, I've been called a Clydesdale in my day.
It was all going so well, on days I didn't want to go to the gym, I could have a happy little work out in my apartment until... I heard a knock on the door last night.
At first, I honestly tried to ignore it, hoping I was just paranoid. Then, I heard it again. So, even if I wasn't wearing pajama shorts and a sports bra, I still would not have opened the door to a stranger without M. home (no peep hole). Also, I knew what the knocker wanted. The rest went something like this with me on one side of the door and unidentified knocked on the other:
Background noise: Techno music and Billy Banks shouting
me: hello?
stranger: Hi, my name's Anthony I live downstairs.
me: Hi Anthony
Anthony: Hi, sorry to bother you
me: no, that's ok. Um, sorry I'm not opening the door, I, um, um, am not dressed appropriately (in my head: you IDIOT why don't you ask him to sexually assault you.)
Anthony: no, that's ok and I'm really sorry, I don't want you to think I'm a jerk but I can hear, like, every step you're taking, I'm sorry, I don't want you to think I'm a jerk.
me: oh, I'm sorry, also sorry about not opening the door, I know this is weird
Anthony: no that's ok, and i don't want you to think I'm a jerk, it's just, um loud, do you have a rug or something? I hope you don't think I'm a jerk.
me: no, no, i understand, um, yeah I have a rug, I'll be more careful
Billy yells something
me: and we'll, uh, come say hi sometime, since this is so, um, weird, talking through the door
Anthony: yeah, ok, great, and I'm sorry, I hope you don't think I'm a jerk
me: no, no....sorry again. have a good night.
Annnnnnnnd SCENE.
I then go back to Billy and his crew, feeling defeated. My plan of working out in the comfort of my own living room has been foiled! And here I was bragging about how fantastic it was to have the privacy of the top floor.
What do I do now?
Poor Anthony. Poor me!
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query anthony. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query anthony. Sort by date Show all posts
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
An open letter to our downstairs neighbor
Dear Anthony,
I know you're very concerned about coming across as a jerk when you complain about the noise you hear overhead. Well don't worry, you're not being a jerk, you're just being entirely annoying. I understand that living below two people, who are hardly ever home and who go to sleep by 11pm even on the weekends, is a struggle but please try to quit your whining. I appreciate that you think some rugs would help and that you have even offered to purchase them for us but are you really willing to spend a day shopping with me at the retail location of my choice and are you really ready to buy the rug/rugs that I deem ascetically worthy of filling my apartment? Even if you are up for a day of shopping and spending the amount of money of my choice, I'm not interested. I don't know you and therefor I don't wish to spend one of my two free days a week on an intimate shopping excursion to Pottery Barn with you. Did you think you could just buy some rugs and hand them off to me? uh uh. Also, I like our hardwood floors, they're one of the apartment's redeeming qualities. So, no thanks.
While it was very (re: too) nice of M. to invite you in for a drink and offer you his email address, cell phone number, his services to find your petite girlfriend a job and our first born, please do not take advantage of this innocent do-gooder by texting him on a Sunday afternoon, 15 minutes after we've arrived home from the weekend away, asking if we've had a chance to purchase some "thick carpeting." That's hardly neighborly.
Things to keep in mind when making your "I'm really not a jerk" case: If you write to us, chronicling your existence as a New Yorker living anywhere other than the top floor, please don't entitle the letter "Help!!!!" This creates resentment and tension between us and also makes me think you're an idiot. Don't say things like "I'm forced to wake up with you and go to sleep with you." No, you're not. Like I said, we go to sleep quite early by all young-NY standards (and I hear you look younger than us) so I see plenty of good hours in the night when you're not subject to our riverdance rehearsals. You've made it clear that you hear our every move - does this include the busy activity of every week night, which involves me getting my ass off the easy chair to get the butter spray from the fridge or to refill my glass of fresca? Rough go.
I know that karma will likely bite me in the ass and that in our next apartment, I will be subject to living below tap dancers or a bunch of crawling children but for now, I am attempting to live in my top-floor glory. I appreciate your complaints and have therefor taken my usual clydesdale-heavy-footed steps down to just over a tip-toe. Anthony, I'm trying -- so if you could also try by not being such an absolute pain in my ass, I would so appreciate it.
All the best,
your neighbor
P.S. For your benefit and to my detriment, I have stopped the tae-bo-ing altogether. Let's see how friendly M. is to you when I start complaining that "I feel fat."
I know you're very concerned about coming across as a jerk when you complain about the noise you hear overhead. Well don't worry, you're not being a jerk, you're just being entirely annoying. I understand that living below two people, who are hardly ever home and who go to sleep by 11pm even on the weekends, is a struggle but please try to quit your whining. I appreciate that you think some rugs would help and that you have even offered to purchase them for us but are you really willing to spend a day shopping with me at the retail location of my choice and are you really ready to buy the rug/rugs that I deem ascetically worthy of filling my apartment? Even if you are up for a day of shopping and spending the amount of money of my choice, I'm not interested. I don't know you and therefor I don't wish to spend one of my two free days a week on an intimate shopping excursion to Pottery Barn with you. Did you think you could just buy some rugs and hand them off to me? uh uh. Also, I like our hardwood floors, they're one of the apartment's redeeming qualities. So, no thanks.
While it was very (re: too) nice of M. to invite you in for a drink and offer you his email address, cell phone number, his services to find your petite girlfriend a job and our first born, please do not take advantage of this innocent do-gooder by texting him on a Sunday afternoon, 15 minutes after we've arrived home from the weekend away, asking if we've had a chance to purchase some "thick carpeting." That's hardly neighborly.
Things to keep in mind when making your "I'm really not a jerk" case: If you write to us, chronicling your existence as a New Yorker living anywhere other than the top floor, please don't entitle the letter "Help!!!!" This creates resentment and tension between us and also makes me think you're an idiot. Don't say things like "I'm forced to wake up with you and go to sleep with you." No, you're not. Like I said, we go to sleep quite early by all young-NY standards (and I hear you look younger than us) so I see plenty of good hours in the night when you're not subject to our riverdance rehearsals. You've made it clear that you hear our every move - does this include the busy activity of every week night, which involves me getting my ass off the easy chair to get the butter spray from the fridge or to refill my glass of fresca? Rough go.
I know that karma will likely bite me in the ass and that in our next apartment, I will be subject to living below tap dancers or a bunch of crawling children but for now, I am attempting to live in my top-floor glory. I appreciate your complaints and have therefor taken my usual clydesdale-heavy-footed steps down to just over a tip-toe. Anthony, I'm trying -- so if you could also try by not being such an absolute pain in my ass, I would so appreciate it.
All the best,
your neighbor
P.S. For your benefit and to my detriment, I have stopped the tae-bo-ing altogether. Let's see how friendly M. is to you when I start complaining that "I feel fat."
Friday, October 30, 2009
the top floor is a must
remind me to tell you about the time a pipe burst in our apartment at 3 in the morning.
okay, fine, i'll tell you now.
a pipe burst in our apartment at 3 am. Well, see, it wasn't IN our apartment. how did we find out? our dear Anthony called to tell us but before we could even get the call, another neighbor started pounding on our door. this was a rather unpleasant way to wake up. apparently our neighbors thought we had decided to take an early morning shower and died with the water running. when we open the door, they seemed disappointed to find us alive and asked if we had left our shower or sink running. no, no we did not, we turn those things off, along with the lights, before we go to bed.
turns out, it was a pipe located somewhere between our apartment and the one below us which means Anthony is not happy - his ceiling caved in. bet hearing my footsteps wouldn't be so bad now (i kid!). and the people below him? water coming into their apartment too. we actually got lucky and only had water in our kitchen. everyone and their mother called the landlord (at 3am), who lives out in Tuscaloosa, Long Island who advised us to turn off the water, which we did. that was fun too.
so now you don't need to remind me.
okay, fine, i'll tell you now.
a pipe burst in our apartment at 3 am. Well, see, it wasn't IN our apartment. how did we find out? our dear Anthony called to tell us but before we could even get the call, another neighbor started pounding on our door. this was a rather unpleasant way to wake up. apparently our neighbors thought we had decided to take an early morning shower and died with the water running. when we open the door, they seemed disappointed to find us alive and asked if we had left our shower or sink running. no, no we did not, we turn those things off, along with the lights, before we go to bed.
turns out, it was a pipe located somewhere between our apartment and the one below us which means Anthony is not happy - his ceiling caved in. bet hearing my footsteps wouldn't be so bad now (i kid!). and the people below him? water coming into their apartment too. we actually got lucky and only had water in our kitchen. everyone and their mother called the landlord (at 3am), who lives out in Tuscaloosa, Long Island who advised us to turn off the water, which we did. that was fun too.
so now you don't need to remind me.
Friday, April 18, 2008
I guess this has become a weekly "feature"
Things To Do This Weekend
Await the arrival of our new couch!
Sit/nap/read/lounge on our new couch
Have a delicious mexican seder with my pops and my M.
Get a 10 minute massage for 10 dollars
Read the paper at the kitchen table
sleep in!
Do some yoga with the new yoga dvd I just bought (Anthony can't hear me namaste. or can he?)
Drink coffee with M.
Cross my fingers that our OVEN arrives tomorrow
Find my calling
Try a spinning class at the gym
Eat pizza
Friday, April 11, 2008
To do this weekend:
have dinner with the Baumer and Leansay (in from TX!)
get my nails did
purchase a couch from jennifer convertibles (who woulda thought?)
set up the coffee maker so that my brew is all ready for me when I wake up
sleep late
drink my delicious coffee with M. when I wake up
think about my life's calling
buy matzoh
read the new york times at the kitchen table
decide if I'm keeping my new running shoes from Zappos
run
eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch
order things that i don't need from target online
figure out how to steal bravo back
make vanilla pudding
do some tae bo to piss Anthony off
read more trashy books about the tudor family
get my nails did
purchase a couch from jennifer convertibles (who woulda thought?)
set up the coffee maker so that my brew is all ready for me when I wake up
sleep late
drink my delicious coffee with M. when I wake up
think about my life's calling
buy matzoh
read the new york times at the kitchen table
decide if I'm keeping my new running shoes from Zappos
run
eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch
order things that i don't need from target online
figure out how to steal bravo back
make vanilla pudding
do some tae bo to piss Anthony off
read more trashy books about the tudor family
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