a break through

Sometimes, I look around and think about how far i've come - mainly in regards to how i prepare and eat my dinner.
It's not that I was ever without sense when it came to supper time, i just had a different way of doing things. My wonderful old roommate still talks about the food I would prepare for myself. It was not uncommon for me to open a can of vegetarian refried beans, scoop that goodness onto chips and stick it in the microwave to melt the shredded mozzarella I had scattered on top of it. Then, I would sit on our quasi couch (we didn't have room for a kitchen table), with the plate in my lap (we didn't have room for a coffee table) and spoon this messed up version of homemade tex-mex into my mouth, while flipping through our 1000 channels. I was perfectly happy with this arrangement at the time but looking back, it's a bit depressing.
I'm no gourmet now and not quite the domestic goddess i yearn to be but tonight, i could really mark my progress as I sat at our kitchen table, using a place mat and eating my dinner. I had the ipod tuned to some old standards and on my plate, i had a baked potato, steamed cauliflower and some homemade southwestern style turkey chili, i cooked the other night. It was all heaped together and what made it even tastier was the melted cheese on top - because some things never change.
I felt so civilized and it was really a nice feeling. It was so much calmer than how i use to do things and it felt good to take it in and appreciate the quiet and peacefulness that I've worked so hard to bring to my life.