I am Job.

Are you or someone you know hiring? if so, I'm your girl. i don't care what you or someone you know is looking for, I'm still your girl. I am a lady of many talents and instead of posting a formal resume, i thought i would list some of my various qualifications that one might not find on an average job application:
-I make a mean guacamole (with or without onions, hold the cilantro)
-I've been called a one woman show (just this morning, as a matter of fact)
-I can make my pinky toe dance (to almost any song)
-No matter how many times you play scrabble with me, you will always win
-I have an incredible eye for spotting celebrities (and incredible self-restraint to not approach them)
-I've been known to text message just the word "hi"
-When the bill comes after a meal, i can't figure out what I owe so whatever you tell me to fork over, i will (with a smile)
- I really like candy and I buy it for myself often (and I share)
-Same as above except replace "candy" with coffee and "I share" with Get Your Own
-I silently judge
-When I'm traveling, I always text you the word "landed" before the plane has come to a stop (even if you don't know i was going anywhere)
-I put vaseline on my feet and olive oil on my legs (ok, that's not pertinent here but i do think it's a good tip for dry skin)